Do you find yourself getting frustrated in conversations and arguments with others? It may not occur all the time or even often. But maybe you can think of a recent one. You were sure that you were right and you kept at it. Even when the other person conceded you thought maybe it was just because they were sick of arguing. So you brought it up again later to make sure they conceded to your side of things.
It might feel good in the short-term to go through these situations. It might even make you feel like you’re changing the world for the better by helping others and stopping information and opinions that are incorrect. But it really is doing the opposite.
Maybe you’re aware of it. Maybe you want to change. Here are some things to consider.
Empathy for the other person
You never know what the other person is really going through. Maybe they have had a combative day. Maybe they do see your side of things, but something else set them off and now you’re in an argument. Maybe they have been coming out on the losing side of things recently and they just want to feel like they can win one. So they are really sticking to their guns.
Or it could be completely different, but still a situation where the person could use your empathy and understanding. Consider that the other person could use someone that will listen instead of someone that will tell them they’re wrong.
Nothing to gain in the situation
Arguing and making sure you are right can take a lot of effort and time. Consider whether it’s really the best use of both for your sake. Instead of doing something for work you would be busy arguing with someone that really doesn’t care what you think or even about you in general.
We have to prioritize how we spend our time in life. The need to be right can really take a huge bite out of our ability to accomplish things we want to accomplish and to enjoy the things we really love doing.
Proper self assessment
We often seek out information that supports our position. It can lead to an inability to assess ourselves in a variety of ways.
A reality in life is that there are a million correct answers for just about any question or option in life. What works for us may not work for someone else. Just because the way we built a career worked doesn’t mean that it can’t be done another way. Or that someone can’t find happiness in another career.
Ability to listen and learn is appealing
People aren’t attracted to someone that is stubborn and over-assertive. We like to be around people that are willing to listen and learn. The smartest, happiest and most fulfilled people are often the most quiet ones in any setting. They’re observing. They’re listening. They’re taking in information. They’re giving attention. They’re offering help when it’s asked for but they are mostly curious about the world around them.
Final thoughts
I definitely have times when I need to be right. It’s probably why I’m writing on this topic. Because I’ve had to learn over the years that it really doesn’t matter. Arguing is not really productive in most instances. There are much better ways to use energy and time. You are probably great most of the time. But if you find yourself in a situation like this hopefully this post will help a little.