Advice is a really tricky thing. Most people aren’t looked for it. They want to live their life and deal with the consequences. And even if they don’t want to deal with the consequences, they don’t really want someone else to offer help.
Let’s say you’re working with someone. They are doing something inefficiently or poorly or whatever. You feel that you have knowledge that can help the situation. You tell them. They seem to listen. Then they continue going about their work as usual and nothing changes.
That can be frustrating. It can be especially frustrating if this affects your work in some way. Maybe you’re waiting on them to complete a task before handing it off to you. This is when it can be critical to figure out a possibly better way to communicate your advice.
1. Ask More Questions
Instead of offering your advice right away, consider asking a question. Aim to be curious about the person and their situation. Maybe you will realize that your initial advice isn’t the right fit and it would make sense for the person to not take it.
Asking questions can also lead to discussion that can lead to the colleague figuring out their own solution. It may be the same solution that you were going to offer. It may be similar. It may be totally different. Either way, it can potentially lead to a better situation that will help both of you and the workplace.
People aren’t often looking for advice. But they are often looking for someone to listen to them.
2. Offer To Help As An Assistant
Maybe the person is struggling with someone at work. They aren’t sure how to make the situation better. But they also probably don’t want advice from a coworker. So instead of offering advice try to offer to help. But not by coming in as a boss and expecting them to do what you want.
Instead, ask what you can do to help. Let them take the lead. You can help them even if you feel there might be a better way. And maybe while helping you can both figure out a better way to do the task that will lead to better work in the future.
3. Don’t Take It As Rejection
When someone rejects your advice it can feel like they’re rejecting you. But that is often not the case. The person may just be weighing all of the options available to them. Tiger Woods once said that he listens to golf advice from coaches and other players. He tries out about 5% of it. And he rarely puts any of it into full-time practice as part of his game.
It’s not that Tiger Woods can’t benefit from advice. It’s just that there is so much of it that he has to filter it somehow. He has to reject a large amount of it to simply remain sane.
You may be right. You advice may be great. You may be a great person.
But don’t take it too personally if someone doesn’t accept your offer to help them.
Conclusion
Advice is a tricky thing. Most of the time the other person doesn’t want your advice. That’s not a reflection on you or on your advice. But it can still be frustrating if you feel that it will help them, you and everyone involved. Try having a conversation with them about the situation. Try to see if you can lead them toward a different way. That might be the key to getting someone to improve their situation.