I won’t say that complaining is on the rise, but there does seem to be a lot of it going on.
I get the idea of complaining. You feel like something isn’t right. You want it to change, but you’re not sure how.
Or you just need to get something off your chest. You need to get it out and for someone to listen so you can move on from it.
There are a few issues with complaining.
The biggest one might be that people just don’t have the patience to listen.
They Have Their Own Issues
One thing with complaining is that you come off as if you’re the only one with issues. If you don’t take the time to be empathetic with the person you’re talking to you could come off, from their perspective, as being out of touch.
Maybe you’re complaining about your boss overlooking for you for a new project at work, but they’ve just been laid off at their job. They’re thinking, “At least you have a job…”
You Aren’t Appreciative Of What You Do Have
Maybe you caught some bad luck, but in the grand scheme of things you have the best opportunity in the world.
I’m a fan of Paul Harvey and he always said that we’re living in the best time in human history. And he’s absolutely right. Is it perfect? Maybe not from certain perspectives, but it’s all how you look at it.
Look at all the great technology we have. And it’s only going to get better.
You Aren’t Looking For A Solution
It can be frustrating to the other person if you come in complaining without really looking for a solution. They may have the patience to sit there and agree with you and just let you vent. Maybe that’s warranted.
But people want to help others. I think we’re living in a very altruistic time. If you go to someone wanting to complain without really wanting a solution they’re going to lose patience for it.
You’re Not Taking Responsibility
Maybe you’re complaining about how others are impacting your life. Your boss didn’t give you a raise. Your coworkers aren’t working well with you. Always other people.
The person you’re with may agree, but often they’ll see the broader picture. They’ll wonder what you can do about the situation. Maybe your boss won’t give you a raise, but why not go look for other jobs? Maybe your coworkers aren’t working well with you, but maybe you’re the one being too demanding.
In most situations there is always something that you can do to take responsibility. Heck, if you walked into the street and got hit by a bus you could blame the bus while you’re sitting in the hospital in traction or you could be angry with yourself for not paying better attention.
You’re Bringing Them Down
There seems to be information out there that says complaining is good and other information that says it’s bad.
From my experience it seems that in most instances a person that complains all the time brings me down. You know the saying that you’re the equivalent of the five people you spend the most time with.
Well, if you’re complaining all the time you’re helping to turn those you spend time with into complainers. Maybe they want a more positive outlook on things. Maybe they’re too busy creating things to complain.
If they’re smart they’ll distance themselves from you.
I know that even with this post that I’m doing some complaining of my own. I’ll try to end it on a positive note and that is that there are so many good things going on in life right now. I’m thinking about my friends and family that have a great outlook on life and I really appreciate them. I find myself drawn to them. They inspire me to think like they do and to think positively about life. To create things. To bring joy to others.
There’s just no patience for complaining in today’s world.