We all know them.
We’ve all probably been guilty of doing it ourselves at times.
I don’t know why it’s part of the human condition, but it definitely is.
And when you’re on the receiving end of it things can be pretty difficult.
I’m talking about people that sit back and point out the failures of others.
Can you think of people that have done that?
The Problem
There is something weird in our world where we can get a sense, at least a short-term sense, of pleasure and even accomplishment by sitting back and pointing out what others do wrong.
When people reach a high level of accomplishment it’s almost like some people out there root for them to have a tremendous fall. They can sit back then and feel like that person isn’t as great as some thought they were.
For the person that tries to build themselves up in this way it seems like they never get anywhere in life. They’re mostly afraid of doing things themselves that they sit back in complacency in life and try to get their sense of accomplishment in artificial ways like negatively critiquing others.
For those of us that want to achieve things in life it can be frustrating to have things pointed out that we’re doing wrong. It can be hard to hear that over and over again, but that’s the determination it takes to be successful.
I don’t know any entrepreneur that succeeded the first time. It may seem that way from the outside, but it’s never truly the case.
Think of the singer that comes out with a major hit album and we think of them as an overnight success. Rarely was that the first time the person has recorded a song or written a song. They may have tried writing 1000s of songs before writing the one that became a hit.
Personal Motivation & Blinder Mentality
It’s a hard thing to do at times, but it’s important to understand the difference in learning from mistakes and letting people get to you with constant criticism.
I do think it’s important to pay attention to your failures and to your successes. None of us our perfect so we’ll have both in life, but the key thing is to look for improvement.
That improvement might not go in a straight line, but you need to keep moving forward with a focus on the long-term.
I think that comes from a personal motivation. You can get angry with the people that doubt you, but that’s wasted energy and I think external motivation is only temporary.
When you’re doing something you have to do it for personal reasons. You need that push from inside you in order to sustain the drive for the long-term.
With that, the Blinder Mentality is to be able to filter out the feedback that comes your way. When you’re at the top there may be some legitimate items pointed out as a reason for your fall. The really tricky thing is figuring out what you should listen to and what you should ignore.
Because when you fall, everybody has an opinion on how you should fix it.
But remember, you are the one that got there in the first place. You can figure out how to get back there again.
Final Takeaway: Quality Feedback
One final note is on giving quality feedback or constructive criticism.
Yes, part of that is pointing out mistakes, but just as or even more important is pointing out the good things a person is doing or the correct way to do something.
How frustrating is it when you’re doing something and someone is shouting at you:
You’re doing it wrong! You’re doing it all wrong!
What good does that do?
It’s much better to show them the correct way; to help them understand the correct way to do something so they can work to achieve that result.
Your Life
When it comes to your life you can only control what you can control.
You can’t control the people in the peanut gallery slinging shade in your direction.
But you can control how you let it affect you.
Ignore them and focus on what you need to do to accomplish the long-term vision you have for yourself.