Choices are a part of life. You have to get comfortable making them. You have to take control of them. The more you shy away – both in your personal life and at work – the more you start stepping back. Then you let others make choices for you. Or you let opportunities pass you by as you decide not to act.
Do difficult choices make you anxious? Do they have you worried about making the wrong choice?
You’re not alone. It doesn’t feel good to make a poor choice. And difficult choices often come with real consequences. That’s not an accountability that is easy to take on. But it is important. It is part of growing and continuing to be an adult.
Here are some thoughts on how to make the difficult decisions in life.
1. Know What You Value Most
This is probably the most important aspect of decision making. You have to know who you are. You have to know what’s important to you. What makes you crazy. The buttons that really trigger you. There are things you don’t care about and things you care deeply about.
Consider your past decisions. Think about the results. How did you feel? What happened? Feelings play a big role. And if you’re not happy with the results then think about how the decision should have been made and how it could have lead to different outcomes.
The more you know yourself the easier it is to make decisions. And it’s not a one-time thing. It’s often a lifetime of learning.
2. Consider The Worst That Could Happen
Sometimes we let fear get the best of us in decision making. We worry that we’ll make the wrong choice. Or there are too many options and we fear that if we choose one thing that we miss out on other things. The reason we fear that is because it’s true. You will miss out on a lot of things in life.
You can do anything life, but you can’t do everything.
But let’s say you face a choice. What’s the worst that could happen? Often the worst thing isn’t all that bad. If it is, then maybe you should restructure the decision. You don’t want to bankrupt yourself. You don’t want to hurt others. You don’t want to hurt yourself.
The more you consider the worst case scenario the more you start to get an understanding of the scope of things.
3. Decide For The Long Term
Long term thinking is an amazing advantage in life. Humans have developed a unique thinking structure where we are able to reason with our future selves. We can put aside things today in order to reap greater rewards in the future. And the more we practice that and see the benefits the more likely we are to think longer term.
But it’s not easy to get into this habit.
Consider decisions you’ve made that haven’t worked out. What was the reward you were seeking with your choice? Was it long or short term?
Chances are pretty good it was short term.
4. Don’t Choose For Others
You have to live your own life. Your authentic self. The more you try to please others the more you run the risk of feeling unfulfilled. There is a balance to strike. You want to find the crossover areas where you are making choices for your long term while also not hurting others and pushing people away.
Consider a difficult choice you face right now. If you make one choice or another, how would you feel if you were the only one that felt the repercussions? Good or bad? Would you be happy with it worked out without anyone else knowing?
That’s usually a good indicator that you’re thinking about the outcomes correctly.
5. Trust Your Gut
Your gut is a powerful thing. It’s constantly learning what worked and what didn’t. It’s why your first reaction to something is usually correct. If you meet someone and it feels good from the beginning it can certainly not work out. But even in that instance your gut will make a little note.
The next time you face a choice, pay attention to how your body reacts. What is your first reaction? Usually that is a very good indication of how you should make the choice.
Conclusion
Decision making is an essential part of life. Even if we avoid difficult decisions we will likely see results. We choose not to choose. And that has consequences. You can’t postpone things indefinitely. You’ll miss out on opportunities. You’ll miss out on growth.
Take charge of the decisions in your life. The more you make, the better you become.