The way we interact with coworkers has a lot to do with our job success, fulfillment and happiness. Sometimes a relationship with someone at work is poor because the other person isn’t a good person. But there can be other reasons. And some of those reasons could fall on you.
Are you struggling to connect with your coworkers? Do you wish you had better relationships?
The right attitude in the workplace can lead to many good things. People generally want to be around others that are positive. And usually the best people are attracted to those that are positive.
So having the right attitude is a key. It’s not the only thing that matters, but it’s very important.
Here are a few thoughts on how to improve your attitude so you can attract better people to your circle in the office and form quality relationships.
1. How does your history affect your outlook on life?
Some of us go through our early life with lots of challenges. People let us down over and over. Especially those that are supposed to care about us the most. This can have a lasting effect.
Our history can affect how we anticipate others to treat us and how we expect life to treat us. It’s no wonder some people have a negative outlook on the future.
But it’s important to understand that the past doesn’t need to be the future. And now that you’re an adult you’re in much more control of who you interact with, what you do and even what happens to you. Sure, you can’t control everything, but you can work to put yourself in better situations.
And part of that is putting out a good attitude that attracts others with good attitudes.
You don’t need to interact with negative people.
2. Is the need for control key to your outlook?
Some of us have a need to control life. Maybe it’s because part of our life in the past was out of control. Or maybe it’s just something that was ingrained in us from birth. Whatever the case, a need for control can lead to a negative attitude that turns others away.
Most people don’t like to be controlled. When we work with others this can become an issue. It’s our way or the highway. Not everyone responds well to this and it can leave you alienated. Especially from those that we benefit from working with.
3. Most situations have some kind of winning outcome
A key to a good attitude is seeing the good that comes out of situations. Obviously we can all think of horrible things that have happened to us. These definitely occur.
But let’s say a project at work doesn’t come out like you want. The boss isn’t happy. It can be a learning occasion at minimum. These often are the things that really stick in your memory to avoid in the future. They can provide motivation. They can make you better.
Being better at your job is usually a good thing.
4. Serendipity is there if you look for it
Another part of finding the good at work and in life is being open to serendipity. Being open to meeting and working with new people. Some of our best relationships are often from little events. Things we don’t give much thought to going in.
Some of my best friends are with folks I met the first day of college. Just chance meetings. Others are from my adult life when I happen to sit next to another parent at an after school event.
You just never know when good things will happen. But going into every situation, including at work, with the idea that something good may happen is a great way to go about life. If you expect good, you’ll often find good.
5. Watch for those that will take advantage of your energy
One thing to watch for when changing your attitude is folks that will press you for your energy. It won’t happen often and many that do this don’t do it with poor intent. They just see that you’re awesome to work with so they want to work with you as much as possible.
You’re probably awesome at your job, but even you have limits to your time and energy. You’re going to have to learn to tell people no. That doesn’t mean you’re negative. It just means that you know yourself and know your limits.
Think of your work history. Who were the coworkers you enjoyed the most? I’d bet they had the best, most positive attitudes. We are drawn to folks like this. We want to work with them. They are probably successful because others want to work with them.
If you’re struggling with relationships at work, consider your attitude. See if there is room for change. Positive change.