Whether it’s in an office or from home, work is where we spend a lot of time. And with that time comes relationships. Some are great. Some are good. And sometimes a few are negative. Whatever the case, work relationships can have a large impact on our well being.
Are you feeling that a relationship at work is causing negative effects in your life? Here are a few thoughts on how to get things moving back in the right direction. For yourself. Possibly for the other person. And for the culture throughout the organization.
1. Schedule Time
All relationships need time. In work settings it can sometimes be that you’re spending time with someone. But you’re not really getting to know each other beyond the surface. There could be some kind of tension that never gets worked out because you’re each going through the motions.
The solution is often scheduling time outside of the normal routine. Even just a little time can lead to positive conversations. You can better understand one another. And even if you don’t become best friends you can at least share each other’s point of view and perhaps come to some kind of negotiated agreement that takes stress out of the situation.
It’s always ideal that everybody gets along. But that’s not reality. Many organizations and teams have succeeded when they simply found a way to work together for the benefit of all involved. Infighting is almost never to the benefit of anybody.
2. Express Gratitude
Look for the good in the relationship. Find it and then express it. You may have fallen into a rut where you see the negatives of the other person. It can happen easily if they repeat something that is a pet peeve of yours. It’s not their fault that you have an issue with the way they do something. You can often take the initiative by looking for the positive and expressing gratitude.
3. Ask Questions
Something most of us want is for another person to show interest in our lives. By asking questions and then listening to our responses. Really listening. Not just injecting their own stories and thoughts into the conversation.
If you’re feeling adrift with someone in the workplace, take the time and energy to ask them more questions. Try open ended questions. About work. About family and friends. About hobbies. Obviously try to read their reactions. They may not want to discuss things with you. Don’t pry. Don’t get too personal too soon.
But the effort often gets rewarded with a better understanding of each other.
4. Discuss Goals
Sometimes in relationships you have to let go of the past. Ruminating on things doesn’t lead to positives today or in the future. Discuss your goals with the other person at work. See where you align. Then see if you can figure out a way to work together to achieve those goals. Often we let the past cloud our future. We often want the same things as those we dislike or can’t get along with. We just don’t discuss what we want with each other and progress doesn’t come.
5. Follow Up
It’s not a one time thing to foster a relationship. It takes multiple efforts. Follow up with the person. Ask more questions. If they expressed something to you then bring that up specifically. About work. About family. About hobbies. Following up shows that you listened, understood and care enough to ask again.
Conclusion
Not all work relationships are going to be great. Sometimes you will need to avoid negative people. But often times you can create good relationships. And if not you can still find common ground and work together without the negativity. It’s at least worth the effort to improve the relationship for a little while.