We spend a lot of our lives at work. These days it could be more remotely, but even then much of our lives are spent interacting with coworkers.
The folks we work with, good or bad, are a large part of our lives. They impact us.
Sometimes we don’t control who we work with. But even in those situations we often have a little control over the people we can spend time with. We can seek out the positive folks and try to spend time with them. Even if it’s just to offset those that bring negatively to our lives.
Here are a few thoughts on how to find the right people at the office.
1. Discover What You Want From Work
A big part of any relationship is figuring out yourself. What’s important to you. From work and from your interactions with others. What do you expect of others? What are your pet peeves? What are your feelings on your current work?
Sometimes we sabotage ourselves. We don’t really dig in and figure out why we’re not meshing well with people. We think that something must be wrong with them. But really we can do a lot by figuring out ourselves. Not necessarily changing ourselves, but just understanding what makes us tick.
2. Look For Those With Similar Expectations
Once you get of get a feeling about yourself you can start looking for others that kind of mesh with you. They don’t have to be exactly like you. But common interests can be important. Values are important. It might help if they don’t do the things that bother you the most.
For example, if lateness is a big pet peeve of yourself you probably don’t want to hang out with the laid back person that kind of moves with the wind and is always 3 minutes late for meetings.
And also think about work expectations. Look for someone that feels about work the same way that you do. Someone that’s driven or someone that appreciates good work, but also respects time off.
3. Believe The Best In People
Give people the benefit of the doubt. Assume that they are great. Assume that they like you and will treat you well. Until they don’t…
You might get disappointed by a few bad apples. But you’re going to have a much better chance of meeting great people the more you look for the best. You can’t sit back and wait for people to come to you to create friendships and working relationships. Go to them.
4. Again, It’s Mostly About You
Just a little reminder. You’re looking mostly at yourself. Trying to figure out what makes you tick. What drives you crazy. What really gets you engaged. The more you know about yourself the better you’ll be at seeking out people that are complementary.
And keep it even with the give and take. If you tend to give too much you might look for someone that is similar. And if you hold back and take a little in your relationships, try to give a little more. There can be a few little things that we do ourselves that kind of sabotage things.
It’s not a given that you’ll find great people at work. But with a few things to focus on you can give yourself a pretty good shot.