Most of us spend 40 hours a week at a job. That’s a lot of time. Many are lucky to get that much sleep in a week. Throw in a commute. Throw in time on our phones. Work is pretty high up there compared to time we spend with family and friends.
We know that relationships are important. We often think about the close relationships we have. Spouse. Children. Parents. Best friends. We put in time and thought and foster them as best we can.
But what about those work relationships? Whether in person or remote. They are very important to our well being.
Here are a few thoughts on building better work relationships.
1. Early Signs Of Compatibility
Small talk is important in a lot of relationships. Nearly every time we interact with a stranger we start with a form of small talk. The weather. The traffic. All kinds of little things. It seems to be a natural way that humans interact with each other. We start with small things to search for compatibility. We’re trying to see if we have anything in common that might mean that we could be friends.
Work is very much a place where we small talk. We learn a little about each other. We try to gauge what the person is interested in, what their values are and many more things as we search for compatibility.
So engage in small talk. It’s the only way to learn if a relationship is worth pursuing.
2. Questions
Questions are a key to interacting with people. If you’re unsure of how to get to know someone, ask questions. People generally like talking about themselves. They like talking about things they’re interested in. They don’t like to do that entirely. They will reciprocate eventually by asking about you.
But a key to getting to know people in the workplace is asking questions. Small at first. Then perhaps gradually more deep as things get going. But even as relationships get more involved it’s important to continue asking questions.
3. Reciprocity
You want to look for reciprocity in relationships. You want to want to give a certain amount of yourself. And you want to look for those that are willing to give as much of themselves as you would like. It’s not always equal. You may want to be the one that’s not sharing quite as much as the other person. For others it might be the other way around.
Whatever it is, you want to look for the right balance for you. Because when you find that you’re more likely to invest energy into furthering the relationship.
4. Time Commitment
Relationships are very much about time. The more time you spend with the person the more likely you are to develop some form of deep connection. It’s at least partly up to you to determine if that is good or bad or somewhere in between. If you’re spending time with someone as a result of your work, determine if you’re able to improve the relationship for your benefit and for the other person as well.
5. Encouragement
One last point is encouragement. We all seek it. We like cheerleaders. But often we get those that instead want to provide unsolicited advice. You want to be the kind of person that encourages. Lift others up that you work with. Try to provide the support that can help them do well at their jobs.
This comes back to you. But you can’t expect that. You have to trust that supporting others is good for them and for you. In many different ways.
Conclusion
Work relationships are important. You know this. But often the grind of the job can get in the way. Or we feel that we’re already investing so much into personal relationships that putting even more into them at work can be exhausting. But if you want to be happier at work and in life in general, it’s important to work on those work relationships.