One of my favorite all-time shows on TV was King Of The Hill.
One of the characters was Peggy Hill. One of her personality traits was self confidence. It would sometimes get her into a little trouble.
There was one episode where Hank, her husband, made a comment that Peggy had quite the high opinion of herself. And she responded, “What…am I supposed to have a low opinion of myself…”
I thought that was genius. Why would it make sense to have a low opinion of yourself?
Obviously, there is a balance, but if you’re reading this you probably feel like you are low on self confidence.
Here are some ways to boost that a little bit.
1. The 10-Year Rule
We tend to lose perspective of how far we’ve come in life. A lot can change in ten years. Even five years. But we tend to focus on the short-term. We want things fast and when we don’t get them we feel bad. We feel down ourselves and our abilities.
Stop putting impossible expectations on yourself. Become a millionaire in the next year? Not possible. Ten years? Still tough, but possible.
Look back 10 years and see how much you’ve changed for the positive. Then when you’re setting goals, give yourself time. The right expectations can change your entire outlook on yourself.
2. Self Fulfillment
A huge one for self confidence is not comparing yourself to others or their expectations. Even your spouse’s expectations shouldn’t matter to you. It’s just about you and your own self fulfillment.
You know what you’re working toward. You know the work you’re putting in. Be confident in the process and yourself and don’t look up to compare to what everyone else is doing.
3. Look At Yourself As You Would Look At Someone Else
Sounds weird? I just said don’t compare yourself to others. But this means something a little different.
Pretend that a good friend came to you feeling down. They have lost their self confidence. You would probably step in and tell them all the wonderful traits they have that you admire. You would probably have endless good things to tell them.
Why can’t you do that to yourself?
Pretend that you’re your own friend. Come up with your own endless list of things that are great about you.
Adversity Is Opportunity
Webb Simpson is a successful golfer. Growing up he had always been the best in his age group. One of the most sought after for the top colleges. In college, he got the prettiest girl. He made it to the PGA Tour no problem. He won early. Then he won the US Open early.
Then there was a rule change. He couldn’t use his putting method anymore. Then he suffered a death in the family. Big time adversity and for a few years he struggled, but recently he started playing the best golf of his life. HItting it straighter than ever. Becoming one of the best putters in the world.
Webb had never faced adversity, but once he did he became better than ever.
Adversity leads a lot of people to feel low self confidence. The reality is that adversity is opportunity. When you’re in the dark days you really discover a lot about yourself. You realize that if you can get through it you can get through anything and that makes you confident for anything that may come in the future.