Empathy is the ability to understand what another person is feeling. We typically see this as a way to help others. But really it’s a way to help ourselves, possibly the other person and possibly others that are involved in the relationship.
In a work setting, for example, by aiming to be more empathetic to a coworker you may be able to help yourself, help the other person and also other coworkers that you work with regularly. Let’s say you’re frustrated by a certain coworker. Your frustration can leak into other relationships in the workplace and that can spread even beyond your direct coworkers to other areas of the workplace.
Also, being aware of how others are feeling can lead to insights about what goes on in the workplace. You might become aware of things that can help you to better do your job.
So it’s not entirely altruistic, but there is benefit to go around.
Here are a few ways to improve your empathy toward coworkers.
1. Schedule More Shared Time
There could be a number of reasons for why you don’t get along with a coworker. But if the situation isn’t good now it’s at least worth spending a little time with them to see if it can be worked out. And it may be out of your control, but it could at least present the opportunity to learn more about them and lead toward more empathy on your part.
Maybe you can eat your lunch with them. Maybe you can schedule a work call and leave extra time for small talk. Maybe you can go for a walk together or to the gym together during break. Or maybe you could even schedule time outside of work to hang out and get to know each other.
2. Ask More Questions
Try to make the conversation more about asking the other person questions. You don’t want it to seem weird, but typically we mostly talk about ourselves in conversations. It’s good to ask more questions to learn more about the other person. Especially if you feel that you lack empathy for them. You’re looking to learn and understand their point of view on life.
Don’t interject with your own stories. Don’t bring the conversation back to you. If they mention that they recently sold their house, don’t interject that you sold your house last year and then proceed to give them advice and tips and things like that.
They aren’t looking for your advice. They are probably looking to be understood. So ask questions and take in the information so you can learn about them.
3. Work On A Project Together
See if there is an opportunity to work on a project together. Go in with the outlook that you’re willing to change your style to adapt to what works best for the other person. You still want to get the project done on time and effectively, but go in open minded. Try to learn how the other person works.
Working together on a challenge is a great way to get to know someone. It can work both ways.
Many times in a situation of frustration it comes down to simply not understanding the other person. One or two negative interactions can lead to long-term frustration if you’re not willing to spend more time with the person so you can learn more about each other.
4. Talk To Other Coworkers
See if you can talk to another coworker to get their thoughts on the person that you’re struggling with. They may be able to help you better understand the person. Try to keep it positive. You don’t want to gossip about the other person. This is about learning so it can lead to a positive change in your relationship.
Try to talk with someone that maybe works closely with the person. Maybe talk to someone that has worked longer with the person than you have. It could be multiple people that you talk to.
5. Try To Do Their Job
Finally, see if there is a way you could try to do the job that the other person is doing. Maybe even just for a few hours or so. Most places are okay with this. They like when you’re curious about other areas of the company.
And learning what the other person does helps you to understand how they feel about work and life and why they may rub you the wrong way.
Conclusion
Empathy is good for life. But it’s not just about helping others. It’s about helping yourself. If you have a difficult relationship with a coworker it obviously affects you. And getting to know the other person will likely help resolve the issues and lead to better work and a better attitude about work.