Talk to some successful people and they’ll tell you that setting goals has been a big part of their success.
But talk to others that have experienced success and they’ll tell you that the best opportunities often resulted from dumb luck.
So what’s the deal with goals?
It would seem that setting a goal would be a good thing. But what if there were times when it wasn’t? Is there some kind of middle ground to follow?
The Possible Downside of Goals
When I graduated high school the quote that my class chose to represent our futures was:
Shoot for the moon. Even if you fall short you’ll be among the stars.
Or something like that…
It seems great on the surface. Even Vince Lombardi, the great football coach, preached the pursuit of perfection to his players. He believed firmly that the pursuit of perfection, while unattainable, resulted in excellence.
But think about your life. The people close to you. Others you’ve encountered. One constant theme you’ve likely come across and one you will certainly experience in the future is disappointment.
Most people set goals throughout their life. Most experience failure at reaching those goals. This failure can lead to all sorts of negatives. Sadness. Embarrassment. Even depression.
A common one is weight loss. Someone you know has probably started a diet and exercise routine. You see them a month later and ask how things are going and they’ve probably given it up. They probably feel bad about it.
We do this to ourselves all the time. It can lead one to think whether setting a goal is really worth it if the likelihood of failure is so high.
Big Goals
Our brains are wired to survive. That means that pursuing goals goes against our own makeup. Goals lead to efforts that are uncomfortable. They make us feel anxious. They make us feel threatened. It’s probably why we often fail at goals.
Another aspect of survival is to also focus on failure. We see negative things all around us. We crave negative things. We want as much negative in our lives as possible. Why? Because when we see threats we can avoid threats.
Big goals take time. It’s surprising that any human is able to accomplish a big goal. For one, they’re difficult. For two, all that time it takes to achieve it leads to a lot of negative experiences and feedback. It also leads to a lot of failure and disappointment.
You probably know about Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 Hour observation. It’s not perfect, but the general idea is that it takes at least 10,000 hours to master something. That’s a big goal. Along the way there will be the realization that you’re not as close as you think and you’ll also rack up a lot of failure and negativity along the way.
Are Goals Good Or Bad?
Research is pretty clear that setting goals leads to success. So in that sense, goals are a good thing. But the more ambitious you are the more likely you are to suffer some mental health consequences.
It’s how the human brain works.
However, you can overcome the roadblocks. You can set big goals and force yourself to recognize the positives along the way. You can set big goals as well as little goals that will help you experience progress on your way to the long-term big goal.
You can make sure you have the right motivation for a goal. For yourself. Not for others. You can focus on forming a regular routine that will lead you in the right direction for achieving your long-term goal.
There are a number of things you can do to use goals to your advantage. The biggest might be to surround yourself with successful people. Observe how they live. See how they deal with stress. Learn their backgrounds and how they approached life over the long-term.
That’s one of the many great things about our psychology. We’re designed to model ourselves after other humans. It’s how we learn. The trick is to find the right people to model. In this case, those that have set goals and that have been able to avoid most of the pitfalls along the way that come with the pursuit.