Success can be a scary thing.
We all seemingly want to have some level of success. Whatever that means to each individual.
But a couple things can be scary.
For one, it’s scary to think about what it takes to reach success. Not many are willing to go down that road. We want to have, not go through.
Second, the success itself can be scary. It’s a new position. It means getting vulnerable and getting into the unknown. That’s scary for humans especially since we’re wired to think about security and safety. Success requires doing new things.
Without even realizing it we often sabotage our own success. We hold ourselves back. We make excuses for not doing what we know needs to be done to accomplish the things we tell others we want to accomplish.
Here are a few examples of ways we self sabotage ourselves…
1. All Talk, No Walk
We like to stay in our dream worlds. We like to talk about ideas we have. We like to tell others and get their validation that our dreams are good.
Here’s the thing…
A lot of times people will roll your their eyes when you talk about your dreams. People don’t care about your dreams. They have their own.
They may pay attention when you start taking action. You may get upset if you don’t get the validation you want for all your talk.
But the best people you could be around will be the ones that don’t listen until you start taking action.
If you have people that validate your talking you may be sabotaging yourself by being around the wrong crowd.
2.Saying “No” To Opportunities
Let’s say someone asks you to have coffee with them. You’ve never met them. You say “no”. You move on.
That can turn into a habit.
I’m not saying that you need to say “yes” to every opportunity that comes your way, but what is there to lose?
You never know what you can gain from saying “yes” to new things.
It’s weird, but it seems that people are doing fewer and fewer things. We don’t even hang out with friends. We see what they’re up to on Facebook and Instagram. They ask us to hang out and we say “no”.
The more you experience the world the more successful you’re likely to become.
Start saying yes.
3. Unprepared For New Situations
Now let’s say that you do say “yes” to situations. That’s good, but you can still be self sabotaging if you’re not preparing. Especially in business situations.
The old story and line of advice is that you should learn about any company for which you’re interviewing. You’re not likely to get a job if you go in without any knowledge of the company.
The same is true if you’re meeting with a new person. A possible business partner. A possible vendor.
All kinds of situations.
Preparation leads to better engagement. It leads to confidence. It leads to success.
4. Perfectionism
How many times have you thought:
It’s not worth doing if it’s not done right…
Maybe you’ve said it. Maybe you’ve heard it. It’s common.
But it’s a cop out. It’s an excuse. It makes us feel good for not doing something.
If you want to accomplish something you have to be willing to put in the reps. You have to be willing to start from nothing and work you way up.
5. Inconsistency
That’s my motto.
If you work at a gas station. That’s what you are.
If you play video games everyday. That’s what you are.
Does what you do align with what you want to be?
If not, you’re just sabotaging yourself.
I heard a successful songwriter one time tell aspiring songwriters that there is no secret to success in the industry other than writing songs all the time. Everyday. If you want to be a songwriter you have to write everyday. No excuses.
Final Thought
We’re often our own worst enemies. We’re often afraid of success. We often hold ourselves back and the crazy thing is that we may not even realize we’re doing it. Yet the evidence is there. It’s obvious. If you’re not where you’re want to be take a look at your own actions. See how you’re holding yourself back. Then it can become clear the next steps you need to take.