Research has found that people are quick to judge.
In fact, many times when we meet someone new, we make a judgement of them within seconds. Perhaps within a minute or two.
And the crazy thing is…our judgement is usually correct. Or at least mostly correct.
Obviously there are times when we misjudge a person. But throughout our history, humans have developed a keen awareness for others. Think of ancient times when our ancestors needed to quickly judge friend or foe arriving at the edge of the campsite.
It was life and death. Those with the best judgement lived and passed their genes on for generations.
But how do we actually leave a good impression today?
Here are a few ways…
1. Authenticity
Know yourself. Be yourself.
It’s always best to be yourself. I’m fond of the saying that fraud always fails. If you’re dishonest, eventually people are going to find out. Because it’s incredible difficult, and basically impossible, to not be yourself 100% of the time.
If you’re going to aim to make good impressions with people, you have to start with a self examination. Figure out what matters to you. Figure out what you care about the most. Figure out the things that make you feel uneasy and uncomfortable.
You’re going to encounter a lot of people in your life. Knowing yourself and your typical reactions to certain people help you be authentic when you’re meeting these folks. It helps prepare you for situations so you’re not reeling and doing weird, unauthentic things in these situations.
2. Curiosity
Genuine interest in something about the other person is a huge key to making a good first impression.
Everybody has something they’re interested in. And usually you can find a way to be genuinely curious about it. I find that it comes with practice. You might struggle the first handful of times. You might try to ask questions and find that you’re getting nowhere.
You might catch yourself turning the conversation back to yourself. We have a tendency to focus on ourselves and we often try to insert our own experiences into conversations. But do that too much and you’ll turn people away.
3. Open Body Language
Part of curiosity is opening your body for new information and new experiences. If we’re guarded, the other person can often tell. They will then put up their own guard. They’ll be questioning you and themselves. It can lead to tension.
Now, being open doesn’t mean you have to be awkward. It’s about simple things like facing the person you’re speaking too. It’s about relaxing your shoulders and arms. It’s about looking them in the eye when they’re speaking.
Usually if you catch yourself with poor body language it’s a sign that you’re not interested in what the person has to say. If you can bring either back to the forefront you can usually bring both.
If you’re not interested, try asking new questions. Once you hit on something interesting your body language will likely begin to change.
4. Security
Make the person feel safe, not judged.
One of the trickiest things with meeting new people is postponing your judgement of them. Remember, the studies find that we’re quick to judge. And those judgements are usually correct.
Maybe the best approach is to listen to your quick judgement. If it’s really telling you that the person isn’t someone you want to associate with, get out. If you’re unsure, take the time to get to know them. If you’re getting a good feeling, then you can get into more detail and start being curious.
Most of us want to make a good first and lasting impression with people that make a good impression with us. This is the time to pay attention to your instinct. Then let them feel secure. When they share stories, be open with your responses. Don’t make them feel like they’ve done anything wrong or anything like that.
Most people aren’t looking for answers. They’re looking to be heard and understood. That’s your job.
5. One Unique Thing
Something that makes you different than the other people they have met that day or in recent days.
Some people get a little crazy with this one. Crazy color shoes. A different hairstyle. Maybe some unique glasses or some type of clothing.
I find that it doesn’t have to be too crazy. Just a little different. It could even be the thing you’re interested in. You’re hobby. Then when you’re at a sales networking event you’re not just another salesperson in a suit. You’re the salesperson in the suit that’s really into model trains or whatever.
Embrace what makes you unique. I guess it starts with understanding what makes you unique. Then embracing it and being comfortable with sharing a little information about it. Not too much. Unless the person seems interested and keeps asking questions about it.
Conclusion
Lasting impressions aren’t easy to make. Many times they occur naturally. Where you and the other person fall into a natural rhythm and a good relationship is born. But I find that you can practice. You can do some things to make yourself memorable. Especially for the right people.
So try these things. They should help.