A co-worker comes up to you in the office. You’re busy. You’re running behind on something. They have a question for you and want your opinion. You go through the motions of being nice. You want to listen to them, but you also really need to get moving on your other tasks. So you get through it. You don’t feel great about the interaction and you can kind of tell that the other person doesn’t feel great either.
What happened?
After all, you listened and asked questions. What you were saying was correct. But your body language probably told the other person your true feelings. You didn’t want to be there. They knew it.
Body language, even on video conferences, can show your real feelings. And it can negatively impact a number of things in the workplace.
Here are some thoughts on how to make sure you are communicating effectively even when you’re not using your voice.
1. Best Honest & Upfront
You can’t trick your body into lying. Your mouth can usually get away with a little fib. But your body will almost always give you away even to the casual observer.
So what’s the solution?
Tell the truth.
If you’re telling the truth your body and mouth are communicating the same thing. And the truth always works out the best in the long run anyway. And the more upfront you are about the situation and your feelings the better in most cases.
Let’s say that coworker comes up to you. You’re feeling rushed. You can tell them that you want to listen, but that you’re busy right now. Tell them to send you a message as a reminder. Or to schedule a meeting.
Fibbing can become a habit. So it can be difficult to break. You probably started doing it out of wanting to please others or to make them feel good. But even still your body is likely letting you down. But really it’s just telling the truth.
2. Do Post-Interaction Analysis
If you have an interaction with someone, take a little time to analyze it after the fact. Think about how the other person responded to you. Think about what their body language was saying. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy in depth. Just take the time to think about what you said versus what you were actually thinking and feeling. If those two weren’t the same then your body language was probably telling your true feelings.
3. Learn From Others
Watch how others interact with you and with other people. Pay attention to the people that are the best communicators. They probably align what they really feel with what they actually say. Those with misalignments usually don’t climb the ladder in the long run. They’re successful because they’re upfront and honest.
And this doesn’t mean that you have to be rude. There are ways to tell the truth without hurting someone’s feelings.
So watch how others interact. Watch their body language. Learn from them.
Conclusion
Sometimes our body language lets us down. We have good intentions. We want to make another person feel good. But if that isn’t really aligned with your true feelings in the moment the other person will see it all over your face that something isn’t right.
If you sense this is an issue for you then hopefully the thoughts here can provide a little insight to get things back on track.